Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Transitions.....


I am a girl in transition; still a wife and mother, yes, but still in transition.  Three of my four children have gone out the door to school, and yes they are back by 3pm, yet I am in transition.  Extra time not spent peace keeping nine children can lend its self to many pursuits.  Unfortunately, watching Care Bears with Natalie has netted the lions share as I’ve been struggling with what’s next for me. 
Sweet Natalie has enjoyed the nail painting, I’ve enjoyed that too.  One on one time is certainly hard to come by.  A little friend to bake with, color with and play softball with is a rare gift indeed.  But, and here’s the honest but, it is mind numbingly boring.  There, I spit it out.  Don’t hate me or think I don’t appreciate my life.  It’s hard to be home alone with a three year old.  I know that this season will pass as all do.  I just needed to get that out. 
When I was five, I wanted nothing more than to be a mommy.  In High School it was that I wanted to be a writer.  What now?
If moving 752 miles away from family has taught me anything, it’s that change is inevitable.  Rather than fighting it or fearing it, why not embrace it?  I want to show my kids how not to be afraid. 
That’s what my pumpkin roll baking is….a lesson to them and I not to hide talents, but to use them.  Did it stink to not sell a lot at the two craft shows I went to?  Yes, it was embarrassing; but, I learned from it.  I choose to not stop putting myself out there because I might have a rough time of it.  In regards to cooking contests, I will still compete even if I don’t always win.  I am not a quitter and I don’t want my kids to learn that from me. 
What I do want for my children (as if I get a say) is for them to 1. Love the Lord.  He has been my rock and strong tower when all that was familiar was left behind.  2. I want them to follow their dreams, no matter how big.  3. I want them to never give up.  I know that the best way to teach that to them is to walk it out with courage and boldness every day that God gives me. 

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